I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
