I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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