Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
