If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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