ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
