his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
