New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
