Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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