I'm so fucking centered right now
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
