Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
