hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
