Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
