The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
