I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
