I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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