Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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