I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Someone signed my nipple.
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