8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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