why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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