fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
