I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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