i just wanna soil my oats bro
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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