i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
