i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
