i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
