OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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