I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he fucked my hip out of place.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
