dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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