with your own penis?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
