apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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