oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
