just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
