she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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