Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
