When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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