Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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