Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
