Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
