So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
