things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I supernannyed him into submission
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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