I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
