It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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