oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You were trust falling into bushes
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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