But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
