Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
