I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
