he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
