the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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