I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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