Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
