You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Randomize
