just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
