A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
